short funny quotes & sayings

FUNNY QUOTES & SAYINGS inspirational & funny quotes

Welcome to funny quotes & sayings - you will find a selection of
short quotes & sayings that we hope you will find helpful.

A woman is like a tea bag- you never know how strong she is until
she gets in hot water.
Eleanor Roosevelt

My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
Abraham Lincoln

If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
Albert Einstein

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Oscar Wilde

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Abraham Lincoln

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us
as equals
Winston Churchill

When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other
W.C. Fields

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin

Dancing: The vertical expression of a horizontal desire legalized by
music.
George Bernard Shaw

Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want
to own one
W.C. Fields

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were
exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls
Groucho Marx

I like talking to a brick wall, it's the only thing in the world that never
contradicts me.
Oscar Wilde (in Lady Windermere's Fan)

and a couple more from the same writer,

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

I can resist everything except temptation.

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